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Hugging by Veeresh

HOW TO HUG PROPERLY: You have to spread your feet to the width of your shoulders, and bend your knees. If you lock your pelvis, there is no feeling. The best way to tell you how to hug is to tell you how not to hug. This comes from years of experience.

People that are frightened don't let the other person feel because when the other person feels, they make you feel, so they crush the other's back. They turn the other person off.

Then there is hugging without touching the pelvic area of the other person: Obviously there is something missing.

Then there are the cripples: "You support my back bone, because I have no power."

A hug has to be like a hand in a glove. There is no tension and you are breathing together, and enjoying yourselves together. It's supposed to be pleasurable. Pleasure emits a sound. If you feel pleasure, you go: "Yummy, yummy, goodie, goodie, aahh". Pleasure sounds, that's what we want from you at the Humaniversity.

WHY HUGGING? A few people are okay. When they grew up they never had any problems with their emotions, because their family was encouraging it all. But usually the family is not happy about your emotions, so they stop it, and then you have to come to a place like this to re-educate yourself

A healthy human being can feel his anger, his pain, his fear and his love any given moment when he chooses to.

People generally don't touch on their emotions. They are always on the surface. It doesn't look good to be emotional; it is a sign of weakness. If you express your anger, you are not accepted. If you say you are hurt, people get shaken up. When you say, "I love you", people get even more shaken up.

When you cut your fear, anger, pain, and love off, all you can do is function. You become hostile. Then you have to learn the basics again. You have to experience that it is all right to be afraid and to experience it totally. If you go into your fear totally, you probably experience anger and rage. It is all right to feel anger and rage. If you go into that totally, you always get to pain. If you get into your pain totally, you always get to your basic need: love. There are external needs like food, sleep, air and shelter, and then there are emotional needs. You have to fulfil these needs in order to survive emotionally as a person. If a baby doesn't get stroked and loved, he doesn't become a total person.

NUMBER ONE: you need to be loved. It has to come to you first. A little baby can't do a dance in order to get love. It is helpless. You need love first. That is why we have families, so that they can give you that.

NUMBER TWO: You need to give love back.

NUMBER THREE: The process of receiving love, giving love, receiving love, giving love, gives you self-love. Not self-hatred, not self-destruction, but self- LOVE. You become a lovable person.

Those are the three emotional needs. Of course you need a car, and all the other external things, but if those emotional needs are not fulfilled, you don't become a complete human being.

Some people need to take all the time. Then later on, maybe they come around to give. Some people like to give, and they don't want to take. It's the balance of taking, giving, giving, taking, this gives you self-love.

That is why at the Dutch Humaniversity we encourage you to hug, we encourage you to date, we encourage you to experiment, so that you can fulfil these basic emotional needs, to be loved, to give love, and to feel self-love. Then one day you will be able to stand up and say, "I am lovable, and God is lucky that I am on his earth!"