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Nisheetha and i just drove a 200 mile round-trip to hear an unknown and illiterate Bengali sing for twenty minutes. You’ll maybe remember the Bauls of Bengal are the itinerant mystic poets of India, the drunken laureates of the spirit. In the local language they are known as the madhukuri, the honey-gatherers. Like the minstrels of mediaeval Europe they travel the villages and small towns of Bengal offering their songs and their inspiration to all and receiving in return rice and dhal and vegetables.

At the Old Vic Theatre in Bristol the writer on Indian spirituality William Dalrymple was reading excerpts from his latest book ‘Nine Lives’. Two Bauls were seated beside him on the stage. He introduced one as the singer Paban Das. Paban stood and tuned his five stringed instrument for a moment. When he opened his mouth the honey poured forth.

I keep bees. At the end of summer we take the boxes with frames full of honey off the top of the hives up to the kitchen. With long knives we cut off the wax cappings, put the dripping frames into a centrifuge tank and crank the handle until all the honey is extracted. Then we leave it to settle for twenty four hours to allow bits of wax and pollen to rise to the top. The kitchen at this time is redolent with the smells of summer, of the fragrance of flowers and the sweetness of the nectars. Then the moment comes. With sparkling clean glass honey jars lined up beside me, i hold one beneath the tap at the foot of the tank. As i open it a rope of thick golden honey flows noiselessly into the jar. This is the beekeeper’s moment of fulfilment, the consummation of a year-long dialogue with nature and the bees.

When Paban began to sing my heart was pierced with sweetness. Tears poured down my cheeks. He sang another song and the roof and walls of the theatre came off and the place was filled with light. In his third song everything disappeared, the singer the audience, the song; only the singing of was left.

Later when we met him and his wife, his soft hands, his warm embrace, his brilliant smile were ordinary markers of an extraordinary master honey gatherer.

The lover
who wholly loves
can reach reality.
The secrets of death
are revealed to him
while he is fully alive.
What does he care
for the other shores of life?

love and hugs
Rashid

Tags: Meditation/Spiritual by sannyasnews
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Rodak ( from Holland)

Today I realized I ask more to other people what solution they have for a problem and accept it. Usually I like to tell how I think something should be done. I think it is part of commune life to share the problem and the find the solution. Here in the commune people share their lives and happiness together. Problems are solved together by using the energy of the people together. The special part is that it is a meditation commune where people live in harmony by not using their mind but by connecting their life energy together. This way you do not need to become angry, because you do not stick to some mind idea but accept other peoples ideas and together choose the best one. For families this is a good environment because raising children takes a lot of work. If you can share the work with other people and for more children it leaves also more time for parents to do their own things during the day, for example meditation for which you otherwise would have no time. With only two parents taking care the children and parents can easily develop habits in their behavior that are not good for either. Here you can see changes in your habits and find out what you changed, so you do not need to do it again.

In green commune the people are flowing. Because so many people are here, as a visitor you can join the flow and do new things that you normally would not do or even could not do. I have experienced from the first day here that this energy was helping me to do my meditations, to help fix body problems (foot, spine) and during the day in my activities. Before coming I had a problem to walk in the airport to the airplane, here I have made long walks in the mountains. By experiencing every day what is happening in my body, I am more aware of what I need to do to overcome a problem and stay healthy.

My body has become more flexible, walking is more natural. I can let my body correct itself for a bad posture, if I let it do it. I write my diary every day, I have found again that I wake up cleaner the next morning, and that I am more flowing. In the morning in laughing I can feel my body opening and become flexible. After laughing when I walk back I do not use glasses and can see the plants very well and shining next to the street. I than enjoy the nature around very much.

The daily activities and walks in the mountains help me to feel if I am using my body correctly especially when I get tired. Usually something goes wrong or my thinking is not correct if I am not in the flow and tired. So when I notice something goes wrong I know what to do to get back in the flow.

I thank green commune for taking good care of us and trying many things to make our stay better and sharing their lives and energy with us.
 

Fleur (from Holland)
Change foot


In group do mandala, keep running while watching partner across me into eyes, then suddenly heavy pain in foot. Before never had this pain, can not go on. Sandesh push some, I feel heavy pain and need to cry. Some later I relax more when feel energy Sandesh and Mira, can handle the pain and some later can walk. Sandesh tell me it is some old pain, from an accident when I was a child, then I ignored the pain and now it come out. Can do group for next day while using some medicine on foot and ancle. The day after group I can climb mountain and walk more than 3 hours, I enjoy and feel peace. The past three months I could not walk more then one half hour without pain.
Some days later, pain come back, and while working foot get fat. Very difficult to walk, no way can bend foot or move hip easily. Do more walks with group, feel heavy pain and afraid that I break my body. Same time my mind is making me crazy and I go thinking too much about insecurities and other so called worries. I tell myself it is because of the pain. But now I see it is the other way around, I forgot to take care of myself after group with using medicine fot foot. I just did not use because I keep telling myself to be a strong young woman. It is a mind habit that I still have and which is forcing me doing things I can not do. Actually taking care of myself and my body makes me a more happy and loving person and that I experience is most important in life. Sandesh and the commune gave me some advice to get more energy flowing. I followed and yes my energy is more flowing, mind is more quiet and foot is less fat and less red. Some pain still there but I try, every time I need to walk, to find a way to walk without too much pain, it is walking with awareness what is happening inside, how my body is changing and my mind keeps quiet. Then and only whyen life energy is flowing, I can walk and sometimes feel like dancing with not too much pain.  
 


Laughing

Now I am in commune for 3rd time. And yes, can do laughing again in mornings all together. Alone at home it is very hard to do, maybe can keep going on 10 minutes. In group I feel energy flowing, when I hear other persons,we share energy and it is like I take over others laugh. So waking up now even at 5 in the morning is no problem at all. I feel stiffness in body sometimes and difficult to come out of bed. But after laughing I always feel more flexible, some blocks of muscles and joints relax while laughing. And again I have some pain in mouth and jaw, my teeth change so much that I can not bite my upper and lower jaw together like before. So the dentist is maybe not happy but I feel more happy and relaxed. It is a wonderful start of every bright new day with this exercise to make the mind more silent and changes my attitide during daily life.
 


Kundalini 

Running in life for my job and friends, feeling bodypain and much tension many times and finally get sick, that was my life till one and a half year ago. Then a friend introduced me the kundalini meditation. First time I felt very relaxed afterwards. I kept doing daily one hour for some weeks and noticed that I just felt better when I finished. Then I felt this was something which can help me in life. So I just came to experience commune. Every day kundalini meditation in group, around 4 or 5 o’clock. The time in the day people naturally feel their energy level go down. Then we do shaking, dancing, sitting and lie down. In the beginning shaking was very difficult, I could not shake my feet or ancle, many bodyparts were so stiff. So much sweat come out of body because energy is blocked some where. Dancing gives me most of times a very free feeling to move my body from inside, it feels as a massage to all bodyparts. In sit I can reach peace when sit without tension in body, however this requires a lot of awareness. In lie down I feel some blocks open and then energy goes flowing more and more, I relax fully. Afterwards I feel like a new day can begin. New energy, more light and joy again.
Now I do almost one year daily kundalini. It has become a way of life for me. Everywhere I go, I take the music and make time for kundalini, even on holiday in Nepalese Himalaya’s. Kundalini is coming back to myself, feel what is happening and watch my body and mind. It is the time my awareness grows and this is exactly that which make change in life possible. Because of kundalini I now feel my own energyflow and can keep it more flowing. That makes life more pure from my inner being. This life energy which flows inside of me, makes me more free, more creative and more open to to anything what happens to me on any moment.


Same time kundalini makes my body stronger. So I feel more energy and have more power, physical but also being to keep following my flow and just doing my thing, whatever it is, whatever I feel like doing. Kundalini in the commune goes more deep; we share our energy which makes me easier flowing and happy.
 
Lin Ying(from China)
3 years old and 33 years old 
Lin Ying

When I am 3 years old, I was scald seriously in an accident. It’s lucky that I was wearing pants with open crotch, so the buttocks is ok. But the left leg is scald seriously. I thought that the meat was cooked. A piece of skin was cut from the right leg to be grafted on the left leg. I stayed in the hospital for very long. My legs are even hung in my memory (in case the wound is covered after medicine being applied. Also in case that I move ) At last the wound recovered.. My father always said very luckly :’The child survives in disaster.’ Later I never walked well. I often fell to the ground when 3 years old. When I was some elder, I woudn’t fell, but the way of walking is very ugly. The tiptoes point to the outside. The buttocks is turned up. I know it when I am very young. I always want to modify. But no way!
I am terribly bad at sports related to running. I have good height and length of leg. What a pity! I like dancing, Kongfu and gymnastics. But my postures are always very strange. Teachers sais that my coordination was not good, which makes me to be weighed down.
Later, I escape from these sports, although I like them very much…
When I am 33 years old, I met Sandesh. When he saw me at the first time, he felt that my way of walking was very strange. He knew that I was blocked. The bone of leg and Pelvis mismatched. So the place that they should fix together now is hole. (When I went to have injection, the doctors always told me to relax. They said that you are so nervous to have a hole in the bottocks). Now I know that everything comes from that disaster of 3 years old—-Because the legs were hung, the soft bone distorted. I didn’t know before… I had many explanation for my problem — lack of Ca，bad body quality, bad co-ordination.
       Shit! They are not the reason.
After 2 groups, my left leg is better and better. The blocked part is recovering gradually. Unimaginable! During 2 groups in 2 months, after feet blistering, heel cracking, the front part of sole aching when touching the ground, I can walk one morning suddenly!

Now, I really understand from my body. The body sincerely records your past life. It’s sickness tells you about the problem of the concept in your mind. It continues telling, but I never understand. O! I never well feel my body. I am just busy, busy with chasing what the mind want—money, love, desire, beauty- then the heart is still empty!

Now, I begin live with myself really. I feel everyday that I exist. I feel the joyance that the body-mind connect. The joyance is so simple! My life is so broad! The power hidden deep in my body is awakened- I don’t feel weak any more!

I bless my self: power, power, more power!
 
 
 
With love,
Green commune
 
 

绿土地健康社区
回归自然，享受成长
www.greencommune.org
 

Tags: Meditation/Spiritual, News by admin
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From Rishikesh to Chitrakoot Via Dubai
By Swami Chaitanya Keerti

It is quite hot in Delhi these days, and it may get hotter. But whether it is hot or cold, it does not stop Osho lovers to travel anywhere, because it is not that four letter word “work” or “duty’. It is really another four letter word–”play”.

Whenever it becomes unbearable in Delhi, I find myself packing for Dharmshala, some times to conduct a meditation camp at Osho Nisarga, and other times to just be there–to feel the cool breeze and view the beauty of snow-clad Himalayan peaks of Dhauladhar. Dharmshala is also famous for Buddhist people- the Dalai Lama and other Buddha-lovers are living there. In fact, they have created a very spiritual atmosphere in Dharmshala.

I do not stay there too long, and often the very next week I find myself returning to Delhi for editing Osho World magazine or facilitating another meditation camp at Oshodham.

When travelling I notice a current aspect of human greed. The travel to Dharamshala by air has become as expensive as flying to Dubai because there’s only one airline flying to Dharmshala. Exploitation by monopoly.

Comparing the airfare, I got an idea: Why not fly to Dubai and have a meditation camp there for some Osho lovers in the Middle East. It is really mysterious that you wish, and then things start moving in that direction. After having a camp on the banks of the Ganges in Rishikesh, I started planning my trip to Dubai. And in the last week of March I found myself in Dubai conducting a meditation camp. This was the first camp there and organised without any publicity. And it is true maybe that one cannot publicise openly there, though I am sure there are thousands of people reading Osho books and listening to Osho discourses in Dubai, and waiting for the taste of meditation. It became quite clear when I was there that more and more people will join in meditation workshops in the future. It was a good start.

After a gap of two days, and after Dubai, where Arabic and Islamic culture has been flourishing, I travelled to Chitrakoot. And as a matter of fact, it is easier to travel to Dubai than to Chitrakoot, though not that expensive. This real tiny town is in the heart of Hindu religion and culture. Dubai and Chitrakoot are such a big contrast! And into such opposite extremes, Osho is entering in a mysterious way. As Dubai does not have a large number of Osho lovers, so is the case with Chitrakoot, though the people there are knowledgeable about meditation and Samadhi. While in Dubai, I noitced even the people from India living in Dubai have only gone there to make money. But who knows, those who are intelligent and sensitive, their prosperity may create boredom, and they may be able to look for something more meaningful beyond it. They may turn to meditation.

This way the Zorba - the outworldly rich person - may get attracted to Buddha, the spiritual richness. And at this point people may turn to an holistic vision, which Osho offers to the whole humanity.

Osho says In Messiah, Vol. 2: I have been proclaiming the New Man as Zorba the Buddha — which is a meeting of East and West, which is a meeting of science and religion, which is a meeting of logic and love, which is a meeting of the outer and the inner. Only in these meetings will you find peace; otherwise, you will remain a battlefield. If you are miserable, remember that the misery is arising out of an inner battle that goes on day in, day out. There have been great Zorbas in the world. “Eat, drink and be merry” is their simple philosophy. “There is no life beyond death. God is nothing but an invention of cunning priests. Don’t waste your time on unnecessary things; life is short.” In India we have a whole philosophy, the system of the Charvakas. Perhaps a charvaka is the most articulate Zorba, and if you try to understand him he is very convincing: “There is no evidence, no eye-witness of any God or of any life after death. There is no evidence or proof that you have an immortal soul. Don’t get caught in these words, which have been created just to create a conflict in you so you can become Christians, Hindus, Jainas, Buddhists, Mohammedans.” India has also known great Buddhas. They say the world is illusory; all that is true is inner, and all that is untrue is outside. So don’t waste your time in desires, in ambitions; they are nothing but the same stuff as dreams are made of. Use the small time that you have in your hands to go as deep inside as possible so that you can find the temple of God — your godliness. If you listen to the Buddhas, they seem to be convincing. If you listen to the Zorbas, they seem to be convincing - and then you are in trouble, because you have both within you.

Swami Chaitanya Keerti

Tags: Discussion, Meditation/Spiritual, The World by sannyasnews
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Being the Master of My Life

After all these years, I have learned to be the master of my life, of who I am. Never do I want to be the master of someone else. You see, I have discovered the art of how to love and to be loved in return. This makes me complete. (From the CD Compassion: The Way of the Master by Veeresh)

The first time I met Osho, in 1974, I expected Him, as a Master, to have superhuman powers. In fact He was totally human, warm, enjoying everybody. I fell in love with Him – His way of laughing, His way of moving, the answers He was giving. As I was leaving He gave me a white robe and said, “Dye it deep red; that will be good for your meditation.” That was His first gift to me.
One Guru Purnima Day in Pune, as Osho was sitting at the front gate He said to me, “Veeresh, come sit next to me.” I was shocked. I wasn’t open to the invitation and said, “No, thank you.”
Another time, I had a toothache and went to the best dentist available in Pune, who was also Osho’s dentist. He hit a nerve, and I jumped because it hurt. He did an Indian head-shake and said, “It hurts Osho too!” That made me realize He’s not somebody who’s above pain.
As one of Osho’s guards died of a brain hemorrhage, He said that if He had known of his weakness He would not have put him in such a stressful situation. Then I got it again: He’s just like all of us; He needs information. The more Osho revealed His humanness, His fallibility, the more I started to appreciate Him as a person.
Over the years He was constantly offering me his friendship, and I would feel that it was too much, that I wasn’t worthy; I needed to prove something first. Then I would be given the right to sit next to Him, or be in the front row, or I would be able to receive His gifts.
Once in Rajneeshpuram I got called into Sheela’s office. She said, “Osho has declared you a Sambuddha. That means you’re enlightened.” All this recognition… He was just saying over and over, “I love you.” That was so difficult for me to accept.
Slowly, with His overwhelming love, I started to appreciate Him and what He was giving me. He looked to me like a superhuman being, but He was the most beautiful man that I ever met, and He demonstrated constantly that He loved me.
One day I wrote a letter saying that I wanted to interview Him because the Humaniversity had a newspaper. That was just an excuse to be close to Him. He sent back a message that He wasn’t talking any more because He had had all His teeth removed, but I could have a photo session. During the session I was so happy; I was overwhelmed. When they were changing the cameras, He asked about my health. I looked incredulously at Him and said, “My health? I’m doing very well. How are you?” I had heard He was not well, and He looked pale.
I was standing next to Him, and He reached out with His left hand. I held it and thought to myself. “Here’s my opportunity.” I took the risk and started to kiss His hand over and over. My tears were all over it, so I grabbed a sleeve of my robe and tried to clean them off. He started to laugh, and I laughed, and He laughed and…wow! I had an experience of what they call shaktipat: He overwhelmed me with His love and His laughter. I got completely lost. I had never felt so much bliss, looking into His eyes.

I realized I was squeezing His hand, and yet He just kept looking at me with so much love. That was such a treasure, such a gift in my life to be so close to Him and tell Him I love Him. He was my Master – He’ll always be my Master – and at that moment He also became my friend. I wanted to say, “If you’re not all right, stay with me. You don’t have to go out there and play Superman for everybody.” I wanted to take care of Him too, to thank Him for taking care of me.
I have come to love and appreciate Osho more and more. I once told Him, “When I grow up, I want to be just like you.” I didn’t mean a carbon copy of Him; I was talking about His unconditional love, His care, His awareness, His constant efforts to free up all of us, insisting that we find our own way. He begs us to be aware, telling us that we have to see who we really are. He asks us to use Him up to a point, but then to do our own trip. The whole process is an incredible journey.
I feel nobody has ever cared so much for me, in that special way that He has. He has always wanted the best for me. As a result, today I am the best in my heart. Despite all my doubts, all my fears, all those things that happened, I’m home, I’m free. You can call it being the master of my life… I do my thing.
He once told me, ”If anything or anybody gets in the way of what you in your heart believe, don’t compromise. Be willing to die for your position.” So I’m ready to give everything, but if I feel in my heart that it’s wrong for me, I won’t do it! That’s another way of looking at freedom.
I once asked myself, “What do I want to be written on my gravestone?” The only thing I could come up with was: Veeresh: A Man of Osho. He loved and was loved by many. I thought that would be really cool. It’s true also. I think He’d say, “Very good, Veeresh.”
Now that Osho is not in the body anymore I feel a greater sense of responsibility. I’ve been listening to Him talk for years, and now I feel I have to carry out what He was talking about. That’s what He expected of all His sannyasins. I feel a deep necessity to really give in my work; there’s no time to waste.
I want everybody I work with, also the Tan-Jus, the teenagers here (at the Humaniversity), to change, to grow up and be beautiful. I give them what I think, what I feel, who I am. As a teacher I have a great responsibility to share my heart with them, so they can find their own Master inside one day.
I remember a beautiful story Osho told: When Buddha died he went to heaven, and he stopped at the front gate. All the angels were ready to welcome him, to jubilate and celebrate that he was coming in, and God was waiting… And he said, “I can’t go in now. I have to first wait until everyone else has passed through these gates.” All the angels cried because they were overwhelmed with his compassion. I see Osho like that: He wants all His people to go through. I also want the same thing.
Osho has this vision that 200 years from now, everyone will be able to appreciate what He’s been doing. When people walk in the main gate of the Resort, immediately they will move into the vertical plane, and the energy of the place will enlighten everybody. I see the same thing happening at the Humaniversity. I see us as the support team for the Resort, and that in two hundred years time we’ll still be supporting them, still be doing Osho’s work, making sure everyone goes through that gate: “Come on, you can do it: Hurry up!”
Osho said He wanted the Humaniversity to be officially affiliated with the Resort – not for us to feel restricted, but that He wanted us to be connected. I thought to myself, “If I were in His position and had to choose someone to support the work in Pune, of course it would be me!” I’ll do all I can to promote His work and accomplish what He wanted.
Osho Humaniversity is a School for Masters.. In the beginning we have to do a lot of therapy, change the negative behavior first. But finally, we are a meditation school: Who are you? When you look deep inside, you will find that you are a lovable human being. “Your behavior might be strange; your judgments and mental mind-fucks get in the way; your relationships can be improved; your sexuality is a little bit dysfunctional; you wish you could have had other parents…” But your foundation as a human being is: you are perfect just the way you are. Everyone is a master. It is just that a lot of doubts and conditioning gets in the way.
Our job here is to free people up to be themselves. I want everyone to develop their total human ability - everyone is unique. That’s the basis of being a Master. Once your awareness has grown enough, then give and share your love!” The world needs that!.
http://www.humaniversity.nl

This article first appeared in Viha Connection magazine

Tags: Discussion, Meditation/Spiritual by sannyasnews
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Prologue

I first looked at Unmani’s website back in the spring while she was in Australia. Despite having looked at the websites of lots of non-duality teachers, I noticed an immediate, inexplicably magnetic ‘familiarity’ in this one. I just knew I was to go to one of the London meetings as soon as she returned. It couldn’t happen soon enough. Parallel to this knowing, there was fear. Something beyond the mind’s control was going to pierce its shell of defences. That fear resurfaced upon meeting Unmani - even though she herself is perfectly unassuming, without affectation and has a great sense of humour.

Not long afterwards, the following interview took place at a girls’ grammar school in September 2008, where Unmani does her ‘day job’ as a Projects Coordinator.

‘You are already that’- but is an existential crisis useful?

In your autobiography you speak very candidly about a degree of emotional desperation that preceded your going to see the female teacher in India, who seemed to be a catalyst for your awakening episode. Although non-duality points to the fact that we are already whole and perfect, that nothing needs to be done to achieve this, in practice a number of teachers have reported a long search ‘softening up’ the ego, including sometimes a ‘dark night of the soul.’ Would you say with hindsight that was a pivotal factor for you?

In a way I could say that my story is different from a lot of people’s. It seems that for many teachers, they were searching; went through a tragic time; then had some dramatic awakening experience. Whereas for me, it wasn’t dramatic at all.

First of all, I always knew this, even as a very young child. But I didn’t have the courage to say it - or even to think it. Instead I felt there was something wrong with me for being different. People would ask me in primary school, ‘What’s your favourite colour?’ I didn’t know, because I didn’t feel there was anyone ‘in here’ to have any preference. That was blatantly obvious to me as a child. So I felt very lost. ‘Everyone else seems to have an identity and I don’t!’ I felt very confused, depressed, and lost. This fuelled the search, looking for something - but I couldn’t have told you what. I just knew there was something wrong. You could say I was searching for the same kind of identity which everyone else seemed to have.

Having spent some time in India, eventually I went to see a female teacher – ‘D’ (who used to be with Osho for many years, and then went to Papaji and ‘woke up’). She calls herself a Zen master. At the time I found her very strong and quite scary!
First of all ‘D’ said ‘You can only come to me if you’re ready to die.’ I really sensed that this was ‘it’ for me. I wasn’t going to go to just ‘test the water.’ I was feeling pretty suicidal by that stage. Searching for an ‘identity’ that I couldn’t find. So I plucked up the courage and wrote to her and said ‘I think I’m ready to die.’ I waited several days for her response in great suspense, but when she did respond, all she wrote was, ‘ Write to me when you are sure you are ready to die.’ Ahh!! This sent me reeling and forced me to really see that I had no choice but to really jump into this totally. I couldn’t just go to her and then hold back, waiting for something more to come and save me. Finally I wrote back to her with ‘I’m sure I’m ready to die’ and so she invited me to spend a very intensive month with her. After a few days of confusion, I realized that what ‘D’ was expressing was what I have always really known, but had been too afraid to admit. This knowing (or, in fact, not-knowing) was apparently what everyone else was searching to realize, but this had always been obvious to me. Meeting ‘D’ was a terrifying but wonderful confirmation. It was such a relief, but wasn’t some kind of dramatic experience. Then after that, it was just building up more and more courage - to really admit it and live it. It took some years before I started expressing this.

Can you say something about your decision to start teaching - was it a decision made by you, by no one, suddenly or gradual?

Well, after being with ‘D’ I continued traveling around India, but didn’t know what to do anymore because I had no more motivation to seek. All motivation to ‘find myself’ was stripped away. I just travelled around having fun and had no idea that I would eventually end up teaching. I spent a couple of years in Australia, and then returned to England.
During that time I occasionally got into conversations with other seekers and tried to persuade them to agree with how I was seeing things. It just ended disastrously every time. I felt sickened by the way I was expressing it. It felt totally wrong and awful - like I was talking about some conceptual belief system. Inevitably this provoked all kinds of reactions… ranging from aggression to debate about this ‘philosophical idea’. I knew that was so far from what I was trying to express - but I didn’t know how. So after a while I got so sickened and stopped. If someone mentioned anything about ‘seeking’ I would just keep quiet or walk away.
Then a couple of years later I started writing, what would become, my first book, ‘I am Life itself’. I was writing just for myself as a kind of rebellious expression. Through writing, the courage to express beyond words became more obvious. While the book was being published, which took some time, a friend suggested I hold a satsang meeting in her living room. I laughed at the idea, thinking ‘I’ve got nothing to say!’ And another friend suggested ‘Well if you’ve got nothing to say, just sit there - don’t say anything.’ So that’s what I did.

At the first meeting there were four people - which felt ridiculous because three were my friends and the fourth was the woman whose house it was! (laughter). It felt surreal, absolutely ridiculous - I just wanted to laugh. But at the same time, it felt so right. I sat there, waiting until I had something to say, which is in fact the same thing I do now in meetings. That was the first time I noticed a certain energy happening. It’s difficult to explain, but with that intention of ‘speaking the truth’, or speaking from what is’ something settles and relaxes. People pick up on that. I’ve noticed, all the time I’ve been doing these talks - about five years now - that energy has become quite tangible. Quite a strong energy in the room - and somehow this that I point to - which doesn’t come and go like this energy does - comes through that energy as well as the words spoken, but is also beyond the energy and words.

Relationship to ‘ordinary work’.

I guess there can arise for me, a fear that without an identity I’d be lost - I wouldn’t be able to function in a world that places so much emphasis on identification with one’s status or role. How does what you’ve gone through affect the way you approach ‘the day job’?

Well, you’ve come to see me here in a workplace where I totally function - and actually it works very well. In fact I’d say you can function a lot easier than if you were identified because you’re not worrying so much about if you’re doing things right or wrong. It’s much more of a natural flow….It’s really like simply watching a 3-D movie - in fact its more than 3-D, because you’re feeling it as well. The difference now is that before, I was much more self-obsessed. ‘Have I got it right, done it right? Previously I was also looking to find fulfillment in work. Part of my earlier search wasn’t only spiritual but to find the perfect profession. My dad’s a doctor and my mother’s a headmistress - and my sister is a doctor as well. So I’ve very much been the black sheep. I finished school and went travelling - which you’re not supposed to do in my family. I did an archeology degree in Israel - only to keep my parents happy. I sold jewelry in a market. Also in India, I sold jewelry in markets while I travelled. In Israel I had a few temporary jobs. In Australia I also sold jewelry…

(Suddenly noticing her metal necklace) I can see you have good taste in jewelry.

It’s funny because then, the identity which I was hoping to maintain was as this hippie traveller of no fixed abode, job or anything. But now I don’t even need that identity, so I can work in a ‘proper job’ and it doesn’t affect who I am. It gives the freedom to work in a normal job, to do the most mundane tasks. I’m not looking for fulfillment in my job or anywhere else any more. Before this job (Project Coordinator) I was an admin person - cutting paper, sticking things, photocopying, etc.- I was very happy doing that too.

Perfection, or room for improvement? Intentional effort

A criticism I’ve sometimes heard of the ‘non-duality’ view wherein ‘there’s nothing to do- no meditation or other methods’ (not to mention the concept of Pre-destiny) is that this could encourage passivity and apathy. For a type-A, high achieving person that could be a useful re-balancing. But for someone who is already not very strong-willed, shies away from decision-making etc, isn’t there a risk of becoming a kind of Advaitan vegetable- of acquiring a false sense of security?

I find it’s not necessarily that, but they could get depressed by the concept of ‘non-duality’. They could hear it as, there being nothing to do, so they may as well stay at home, not go out. ‘May as well kill myself!’ It can be as dark as that. Well that’s because they’re only hearing it as a concept. Of course it’s not a concept - and that’s the problem with anything - any word that is spoken, can be misinterpreted. That word ‘non-duality’ doesn’t mean anything. Any word is wrong- you can’t actually express what we’re talking about here.

So how can people get to it then?

So there are two things I want to answer here. The first is that non-duality cannot be expressed at all - ever. No way. What happens in meetings is an expression happening in it. There is an expression, from it, of it, as it. But it’s only really heard in a recognition. It’s not heard or understood mentally. A conceptual understanding has nothing to do with this message.

So can you say something more about this recognition?

Well actually no - that’s the point! (laughter) This is recognized or not. Nothing is required of a person in order to recognize this. BUT I notice that often when people are at the end of their tether - ready to die, basically; have had enough of searching for pain relief, or for pleasure - for these experiences that come and go - they’re ready to see what is beyond all of that…

- When they’re receptive.

Yeah. If you’re still trying to put this into a conceptual box and say ‘This is it, this means that I’m now special, I’m going to have experiences of love and peace, it’s all going to be wonderful now’- it’s not going to fit into any of those boxes. It’s also not going to mean you’ll never experience pain again. It doesn’t fit into any concept of what you may think ‘enlightenment’ is. So yes, there is nothing to do to achieve this - but it is not a concept of passivity. A passive ‘doing nothing’ is a kind of ‘doing’ as well- it is an approach. You can’t just ‘do nothing.’ It’s realizing who you are- for once and for all. It’s not even a way of life. It’s an absolute death. Before that death, a seeker tries to do anything possible to get ‘it’: Whatever ‘it’ is believed to be. And great- maybe they’ll become sick and exhausted enough, to realize that the ‘it’ they’re searching for isn’t in all those things they’re chasing. So, vipassanna, other meditations, practices, therapy- all of that is great for seekers who need to tire themselves out! And there is a kind of maturing that happens. You go down one path and see for yourself that ‘it’s not that.’, then another until you get exhausted with all paths. This recognition of who You really are, is seeing that there has never been a path.

Relationship to pain
I was quite touched by the autobiographical honesty in your book, where for example, in a section entitled ‘Raw open wound,’ you write that there are now no filters blocking off painful or pleasant feelings. You seemed to be saying in the last meeting I attended, that feelings come, maybe very strongly and then go but there is no story of ‘who’ they happen to.

There are also no rules, so sometimes there’s a story that plays itself out, but still there’s no idea of this being ‘my story.’ There may be the thoughts and words of the story, but it’s never mine - never ‘my problem’. It’s just, again like watching this 3-D movie. Of a character playing out as if she’s got a problem. But I’m not even doing that watching.

You don’t feel that watching is based in any willful intention on your part?

Well, who? There’s no one in here, to have any will at all.

But- you have done quite a good job of marketing yourself. You’ve got your website, meetings, you’re going to the US, Australia. Wouldn’t you say that involves intentional effort? Or does it just happen?

It depends what we mean by these words, because ‘having an intention’ to go to Australia - just happens. At every level it all just happens. But none of it is happening to me, because there’s never any me ‘in here’. So it is all just happening- down to every thought. Getting an e-mail from someone saying ‘Great that you’re coming’; going to the travel agent… getting on the plane….It’s all just ‘watching a movie’…. It is an absolutely passive observing. If you did try to observe, this seeing which we are talking about, would be observing that.

Relationship to Others

I’ve heard other teachers state that ‘relationships don’t work.’ I once heard Osho remark that he’d never met an unhappy person, but he’d never met a happy relationship. Yet for most people, a workable bond with someone else is in their list of top priorities. So why doesn’t it work?

Obviously some people feel their relationships do work, but the nature of relationships is that they do have ups and downs and that’s what people love- the drama of the ups and downs. Having a fight and then making up is the best bit, isn’t it? But it’s based on the idea of two - two separate people coming together to meet. Being in love is another way of wanting to meet as one. So it’s a kind of an impossible paradox - a terrible paradox in a way because you are absolutely whole, absolute oneness… and yet you play as if you’re a separate, individual, separate from the one you love- and in that, you’re trying to meet and become one with the other. But you’re already one. So the idea of relationship is based in the idea of separation: that you need to ‘come together’ in order to become one. I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t have relationships. They happen and can be beautiful and playful, wonderful - and also painful - all of it. What goes up must come down! Along with beautiful experiences must come sad ones: that’s life.
The other aspect to relationships is, in the same way that being with a ‘teacher’ can be a trigger to recognise who You really are, so can a relating to another. When there is an absolute ‘falling into’ being with anothe - that’s the same as being with a ‘teacher’. If there’s an absolute surrendering to the other - a dissolving - then that’s what I would like to call true Love. It doesn’t have to be sexual love, or a motherly or fatherly type- there’s no particular type. And it’s also the kind of Love that happens in Satsang meetings. It is all about recognising the surrender that is. Then it doesn’t matter who it is that you surrender to – a lover, a ‘teacher’, the shopkeeper that you buy your milk from… This is being in love with Life.

This is a bit personal but you described some shattering experiences you had, related to being in love. Are you saying that that couldn’t happen to you now because you’re…?

-No I’m not saying that. Anything could happen. There are no rules- I’m not in some kind of ‘state’ that is beyond pain and that depends on certain conditions all being constant. So there are absolutely no rules and whatever happens to this character, Unmani, is irrelevant. There’s an absolute recognition that I’m not this character, who goes through all kinds of dramas- so it doesn’t matter. If I was to look at it in terms of a story in time, I’ve noticed that since this recognition that I’m not this character, slowly, this character has been relaxing into this, being touched by this recognition. You could put that on a time-line and say that it has deepened in time. In the years since I was in India the character has relaxed more and more… and that shows up in relationships and the way I relate to people. My relationships have become more honest and open and less dramatic but that doesn’t mean they will never be dramatic. There are no rules at all. Absolute Freedom has no conditions.

So you haven’t got an expectation about it?

No. Not at all. And if I did, that would be irrelevant. Whatever happens is irrelevant. I am anyway.

(End of interview.)

Unmani’s website where details of her biography and meetings can be found is at http://www.not-knowing.com

Tags: Meditation/Spiritual by sannyasnews
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Surrrender
Devopama reflects

In Poona one, and on the Ranch surrender seemed to imply submission, obedience to authority, doing what you were told. We heard Osho tell the story of the great Tibetan Master Milarepa being made by his master Marpa to build a house and then pull it down, a process repeated several times over. Gurdjieff did the same with his disciples, and I always feel an affinity reading accounts of his ‘Ranch’ at Fontainbleau. I think we Westerners took a long time to gain any understanding of what Osho meant by surrender. Yet Osho could also often be heard talking about freedom, individuality, rebellion even, and this we Western disciples thought was our language. For us No was only too natural. It was saying Yes that was hard, whereas Indian sannyasins found Yes only too easy. This was a difference between East and West Osho commented on several times.

Once I do remember on the Ranch when I acted out my feeling of revolt, of No - and the Ma’s in charge (Dolma and Vidya as I remember) said Yes, and accepted my decision. It was over going back into a Security job and sitting in those little Guard Box huts watching the cars go by. I just could not face the immobility of it, the isolation. I wanted to go out and play with my Survey Crew gang. Afterwards wondering how I had ‘got away’ with my little rebellion in a milieu where submissiveness posing as surrender seemed to be the rule, I attributed it to the totality of my conviction, its purity. Or maybe they could see I was almost about to have a nervous breakdown over it! Afterwards I did feel a great sense of gratitude, of elation, and of freedom.

The incident has stayed with me and thinking about it again nearly thirty years later I realise I’m back in the same predicament. Only this time there is no clear avenue of escape. My Guard Box is a bit bigger and I can cruise around the corridors and garden paths in my electric buggy. But there is no more roaming over hills and vales, going in a car off my ‘Ranch cum Home’, visiting far-flung friends. My companions here are all twenty to thirty years older than my mere seventy. They were all in the Second World War, and between us there is a chasm culturally. They have never experienced that mixing, or even dissolving, of nationalities sannyasins know and celebrate.

I am unmistakeably English, cannot disguise it. But I don’t feel content being back here in England. The English provinces seem so limited in outlook, narrow in their interests. I have always preferred living ‘abroad’, and loved being in America for that reason, a foreign country that spoke my own language (sort of). Gurdjieff could never bear the thought of living in England because of its barbarous food and climate. There is plenty of both where I live.

I can revolt against it - everything that affronts my ego, my conditioned sense of who I am. I do sometimes go and have a scream away from earshot. But there is not much energy in it, and it does not make me feel any better. Alternatively I can ’surrender’ to my situation. Meaning what? How?

Acceptance, watching my mind as it writhes and squirms. There is a looking, an acknowledging of what is going on. Ah, there goes Mrs G again, there goes A’s TV blasting my corridor. Ugh, this must be one of John’s packaged soups. Of course I seek to change what can be changed - TV noise, poor food. We have food meetings, but seemingly simple things can be a big struggle. Getting someone to turn their TV down or close their door is never a matter of a simple request, a ‘please’. It involves a whole diplomatic negotiation with Carers and nurses. Surrendering, accepting is far from passive. In fact as far as I can see I am the most rebellious inmate here, and I chafe at the English placidity of my fellow inmates. They have been too long in the army obeying orders. So just having to live in a Nursing Home is a constant challenge. It is a rather different form of Commune than the ones we have been used to, but it still forces me to be aware of my reactions. Yet it has its own rewards - some of my oldies have been very fine, charitable men, a privilege to have known.

And then there is my disease itself (MS), with its insidious increasingly rapid advance through my brain. Again one can rant and scream out ‘Why me?’ But that is to no avail. Nothing can be done. MS is incurable the medical ‘experts’ tell one. And they are largely right. Yet there are a small number of those whose ‘No’ has brought them victory, a cure. There is a very good cheery magazine solely devoted to alternative treatments MS sufferers have found helpful, even curative. But such cures in most cases involve a fairly restrictive non-saturated fat diet,. This is a major frustration for me here where meat and dairy are the mainstay of every meal. I can’t bring myself to eat what only makes me worse and adds to my lethargy. So I have to negotiate my way round the worst excesses and have regular confabs with the cooks. Sadly for me there are limits to what an institution is willing to do for just one member.

I do have a sense still of hope; it would be another huge step to have to live in this body with absolutely no hope whatsoever of any stabilization or improvement. Remember Osho’s phrase in a different context, ‘hoping against hope’. In First Poona Ma Veet Asho was a good friend. Often I have pondered on her name’s meaning: beyond hope. No hope means no future; just the present however ‘miserable’ that might be. I see people here with my same disease almost completely paralysed, bedridden. They can have no hope, yet they go on living. When passing by their rooms I sometimes stop and marvel, go in and say hello to raise a smile. They must be in a state of complete let-go, physically at least.

All this is the outer, the body with its brain, which I am very aware of all the time because it does not function smoothly. There is no likelihood of going on automatic when almost every movement demands an added effort, almost a conscious decision - to get up, to take a step forward, to spoon soup into my mouth without slopping it all over the place. Most mornings (depending on when I am got up, and if the TV next door is not blaring so early) I manage a half-hour sit, and that can be blissful and is always centering. It is then a question of maintaining that inner awareness, that centred calm as I boogie myself to breakfast and the noise and agro of the day. My meditation is who, what, is doing all this; who is witnessing. And in that comes the surrender, not to anyone in particular though that can be part of it - to angry carers, to poor cooking, to noisy neighbours. Surrender I take in the sense of acceptance. It is like in Vipassana, naming the thoughts as they pass through the mind’s eye. It is neither passive, nor fatalistic. Ah here comes fatigue, inability to focus, TV noise, leg cramps, body spasm. And really that is my day, with some interesting (to my mind’s taste) reading or a radio/TV programme, plus a cruise around the big garden here when it’s sunny.

If fear is there note down that fear is there and accept it. What can you do? Nothing can be done; fear is there. See, if you can just note down the fact that fear is there, where is the fear then? You have accepted it; it has dissolved. Acceptance dissolves; only acceptance, nothing else. If you fight you create another disturbance and this can go on ad infinitum, then there is no end to it….Suppressed, you never experience the thing in its totality, you never gain anything out of it. Wisdom comes through suffering and wisdom comes through acceptance. Whatsoever the case, be at ease with it. [A Bird on the Wing Ch.1]

Just accepting a quiet, pretty reclusive life. Is there joy in this? Not much elation; but neither am I depressed. I don’t need Prozac thank you. It’s not a life’s ending I would have chosen. I don’t recommend it as a meditation, I’m sure there are easier ways. And yet… others with MS are much worse - I see them bedridden in my Home, let alone worse chronic diseases. Stephen Hawking paralysed in his computerised wheelchair is a celebrity case. But it is not a question of comparisons.

My situation is a wonderful one for inner work, for awareness. I feel it gives me depth, a lovely Osho word. I don’t have to busy myself looking after shopping, cooking, earning/managing money affairs - a decent enough Home with fine grounds is provided free. It is such an opportunity to go in. And that is so exciting and challenging, an adventure to embark on time and time again. To watch this mind and keep looking for that elusive Self within it, hiding away asking to be revealed. Ah this, and this, and this.

Would I say yes to a cure? Of course, and I do keep hoping - my latest is appropriately called Esperanza! But - meanwhile I practice acceptance. Accepting now and here brings in the Present moment, the only one there is.

(This article first appeared in Viha Connection Magazine)

Tags: Meditation/Spiritual by sannyasnews
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One especially grey day in January, I received a post card of a sun drenched beach with scenery to die for. The card said, you really should visit Pacha Mama at least one time in this life, its really a kind of paradise here. The card was from a close friend, that I made music with when I lived in Germany, who has been living at Pacha Mama since its beginning, around 8 years ago.

It took me around 4 years before I went. I wasn’t at all keen on visiting a community headed up by Tyohar and run by a bunch of young Israelis, but I completely trusted my friend and knew I would go there one day. So it was two years ago that I first I visited. Pacha Mama is a community village in the jungle referred to as the forest to those who live there. It’s in the Nosara region of Costa Rica. And I have to say, it is amazing! It is such a beautiful place. People there are very sweet and human. And after my second visit, I can say it is just one of the best places on this earth to visit right now. The nature in Costa Rica is stunning. I especially loved the coloured birds of all shapes and varieties.

The Pacha Mama project left me in awe, the people, the place, nature, energy, music and the intention for the place are amazing. One night Tyohar ran a disco. I have been running Shamanic Trance Dance for quite some time and this was really resonating with me. There is something about the way he chooses the music and creates an atmosphere which is very magical.

This year, when I returned, towards the end of my stay there was a full moon party with Tyohar as DJ. I’m stuck for words to describe how good it was – I would never have imagined myself to have such a good time – dancing for hours on end. It was really a Pow-Wow. I have had bad knees and foot for a while and probably the longest I’ve danced in the last 3 years is around 2 hours in one go. I would not have thought I could do it and in the blazing hot sun too. Tyohar really is a Cosmic DJ. He leads people into a mystical trance space in such an expert way. For me (and many others of course) on the Shamanic level, Pacha Mama and the parties with Tyohar, really hit the spot.

And on a healing level, it’s probably one of the healthiest spaces in the world to be. The food is delicious. There is a restaurant there where the food is mostly organic and a lot of raw food is available. They also have a café called Wild Treats where they make raw snacks, sweets and drinks, all at very reasonable prices which are simply scrumptious. Instead of coffee in the morning, you can order a Cacao Shot made from Cacao beans (raw chocolate), tasting very chocolaty and delicious but with the added bonus of being tremendously good for you whilst waking you up! Both years I have done a Noni Juice Cleanse which has helped me loose weight and stay healthy. This year I also did a Raw Food and Yoga workshop plus a Tibetan Buddhist Vipassana Retreat, after which the party was very welcome! There’s also a sweat lodge where they have regular ceremonies.

The people who have been there since the beginning have built beautiful houses – the aesthetics of the place is very high. There is such a natural grace there – people really living in tune with nature.

Osho is also honored there which I found very refreshing as many “enlightened” teachers who have been with Osho before seem to disown him. Not so at Pacha Mama where they have built a huge marble hall called the Osho Hall where most of the daily meditations take place. Every evening there is an hour of silence where many people meet to sit in the hall and meditate. Osho’s enlightenment day and birthday are celebrated.

Music is another feature high on the list of priorities there and my friends, Kabir and Gitama who I had gone to visit, have made a music studio and produced a Pacha Mama C.D. which is very beautiful. They also run singing groups where many people have found a new confidence in singing and new creative projects have happened through Kabir and Gitama’s enthusiasm and patience.

Accommodation for guests is mostly in spacious wooden huts called Casitas and you can be on your own to enjoy the nature. There is plenty of space.

An idyllic beach is nearby. They arrange transport for guests in the “beach bus”.

This year Tyohar has stopped giving satsangs and is generally having a break, though I understand he is still doing a few full moon parties

If you want to visit, I would recommend a look at their website first to see when you want to go and what kind of activities are on offer. The rainy season is in our summer but there is also a few weeks in August when it is dry.

Ma Deva Archan

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Tags: Meditation/Spiritual, Zorba by archan
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